While I was running this morning, I realized just how selfish I was last night. Don’t get me wrong, in many ways I needed to feel all of those emotions. Identifying what is filling you with fear, doubt, or sadness is a crucial step in moving forward. However, in all of my thinking last night, I was only concerned of myself. I know I talked about this in a previous post, but here is another example of how easy it is to think only about our own selves! There it was, Saturday night, and I was grieving over this past relationship.
This morning before church, though, I realized that I should have been celebrating! God has brilliantly designed each and every relationship in our lives. Each one has a purpose. From these relationships, we have the opportunity to learn many lessons about life, about love, and about God himself. This past relationship of mine taught me so many great things in all of these areas! I am a better person today for having had it, and I am nothing but grateful now for having been given that friendship.
What I also realized this morning was that it was time for me to let go of my biggest fear—the fear of being alone. “Perfect love drives out fear. A fearful life is one not yet fully formed in love” (1 John 4: 18). I said this last night, but it brings true hope and encouragement to me now. I was not living fully in Christ’s love last night, but I as a type these words right now, I vow to live my life in Christ’s love with every breath that He gives me.
To all of my friends that have helped me make this transition to State, I am so blessed to have you. I am so sorry that I have dwelled in the past at times rather than move forward. I see now that it is my time to let go. We have great times before us, and I see now that it is our time to celebrate!
In some ways, last night was a rough night, but in many ways, it was a blessed night.